Now that I’ve gotten your attention, I would like to relay today’s experience with you.
I have just come home after spending the day in the hospital with my dad. We initially went there for what we thought to be a simple procedure. However, it turned into a nightmarish day. My dad coded and the next 24 hours are critical. I am home to shower, calm myself and tend to Dolly, my Miniature Dachshund. While I know that my dad IS going to die – I realized that I suddenly feel as though I am twelve years old and I’ll never truly be ready for my dad to leave me. I thought I would feel okay with him passing (does anyone ever feel okay when their loved ones die?). That is, I thought that since he is eighty years old, has cancer and this is part of the natural cycle of life…that somehow I would be prepared.
I have so much to say to my dad and so much to thank him for. I pray that he is still with us tomorrow, so that I can say some much-needed-overdue-sentiments (besides the constant crazy “I love you Dad” that I was blurting out amidst all of the drama.) Thank heaven for the gracious nurses, whom my sister and I are convinced must joke about patients’ family members such as myself! (If you know me, you know exactly what I am talking about.)
Today’s blog post title is due to the fact that there were some Grey’s Anatomy moments surrounding us in the hospital, thankfully mostly positive, which allowed my sister and I to have a little giggle despite the situation. Suitably, the title for this week’s Grey’s Anatomy show is ‘Love the One You’re With’. No matter how awful you think your parents were/are, what they ‘should have’ done differently and/or better – I would like to share something that puts a different light on my mom and dad when I judge them. I envision who they were when they were children – and what they must have been like as a young person conjuring up beautiful dreams and goals. Most importantly, I also reflect on the fact that – at one time – they were somebody’s baby who loved, nurtured and wanted the very best for them.
Tonight I want the best for my dad, whom I love with all of my heart. If you’re reading this post, please send him a little piece of positive energy. In Gratitude~